Tuesday, December 27, 2011

CHRISTmas 2011

This Christmas was full of love and excitement! This year more then others I felt especially close to our Savior. This year more then any other i felt a real and deep connection with our King. I loved that J and I read the Christmas story from Luke snuggled up in bed on Christmas morning, a new tradition we intend to keep. I am happy. I am joyous! I am full-filled! I am.
Eph 3:14-21

Because of this AWARENESS that our Lord was THE reason for the season my family and I demonstrated His amazing selfless and sacrificial love by giving some pretty awesome gifts. Not that it's about that at all.. We all know it's about the heart...

I was able to make some very meaningful gifts for most of my Family which I enjoyed making almost as much as watching their reaction when I gave it to them. I helped my mom give my dad a new home theater system and helped my dad give my mom a Mercedes! By help I just mean I figured out a creative way to present the gifts lol. I LOVE giving gifts!!

Plus, everything I Got was to further my art making... :) which makes me super happy! and j got me a super cool gift that he put a lot of thought into.

I loved waking up in the house I grew up in. I loved talking to my mom about life, over coffee or in my case caffein-free tea. I loved spending time with my sister, my cousin and my best friend. I absolutely loved waking up to the sound of my nieces talking and playing...

*sigh* I MISS MY FAMILY :( but I praise God everyday for allowing me to be born into such a close and loving family. I am happy. I am joyful. I am more than FULL-filled!

I am so excited about the new year! I know The Lord Has big plans for us. I just know 2012 is going to be a great year!



Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Does God command us to be vegan?

"Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of this whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.' Gen 1:29




Monday, July 18, 2011

To be or not to be...VEGAN?!

My first normal period after my D&C has brought the pain back with a vengeance. I think I'm more disappointed then anything else. I was hoping that the 4 months I was period free because I was pregnant might act like Lupron therapy. I refuse to take Lupron because of all the side effects but essentially you take it to supress ovulation/period for three months right?

I am so thankful that I am not working anymore because I can try to manage this pain without stressing about missing work. I was for a moment thinking about working again but I think it's pretty clear I need more time to concentrate on my health.

Everyone knows I already have a pretty strict diet: gluten free, no processed sugars, no caffeine, no red meat or pork, no dairy, ect.. but now I think I will be going vegan. on my Facebook page for Endo support there gas been one particular women you had recommends to me before to go vegan but I didn't really look into it since I had thought my pain was gone or at least wouldn't cone back for a while. For the last two days I have been in some serous pain and honestly am willing to try anything to prevent from having to go through this again... So I am declaring that I AM GOING VEGAN! wish ne luck!




Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Miscarriage (Blighten Ovum)



Well it been quite sometime since I have written. I know I posted about the Royal wedding but honestly I think I was just trying to stall.

I'm sure you can figure out from the title that I had a miscarriage. I was about 10 weeks along but sac was only measuring 6 weeks. Never saw baby or heartbeat. I'm not sure why its taken me so long to write about it.

From 8 weeks until my D&C at 10 weeks I was pretty miserable. This was I was very nauseated and very tired. I did nothing but lay on the couch all day and night. I was utterly useless. This was basically the whole last half of March and the first half of April that I was rendered incapacitate. It was horrible. I literally did not want to do anything. I didn't even want to think. LOL Seriously. I never made dinner once, we were always getting take out and I let our monthly budget go way out of hand bc again I didn't care about anything. Its funny to me now how utterly useless I was.

So let me backtrack. At 6 weeks we had a "suspected" blighted ovum, which basically means an empty gestational sac. I wanted to be 100% positive that what it was so we had an ultrasound every week. Technically no doctor can diagnose a blighted ovum until you are at least 8 weeks. I desperately wanted our lil seed to miraculously come up on the sonogram screen with a string heart beat but that was not meant to me.

I am not sure why but I have actually been quite ok with it all. I know some women take a miscarriage very hard and there is nothing wrong with that but I only had 1 day where I was really sad. It was about a week after D&C and we went to go visit my new niece in Amarillo, TX. I was so excited to see her but when I walked into the house I could literally smell the baby and oh boy when I saw her face I nearly lost it. I had to get to the other side of the room before I started crying uncontrollably. Th entire time we were there I couldn't hold the baby much less look at her. The next first half of the day I was a mess. I was very sad and would cry about anything. The dramatic hormonal drop that occurs the first week after a D&C is pretty harsh so logically I knew what was happening but it still did nothing to help with the way I was feeling.

Luckily my husband had the sound mind to let me wallow in my sadness for just the right amount of time before he came swooping into our room to try to get me out of it. We hugged, cried and hugged some more. Prayed ALOT and by that evening I was able to go to the family's Easter Bar Be Que. I still didn't hold the baby but I was completely fine with being there.

I am very good. My mother said I have been dealing with my loss very well. I'm not sure why. I expected to be devastated but I am surprisingly calm and still thankful for everything. I think part of my peace is that I KNOW we will be having children soon. My sister went through the exact same thing and 3 months later she had my niece so I am VERY hopeful! God is good and he promised me that he will give me what ever my heart desire as long as I love for him... so I am confident!

Once we got back to Dallas I had my 2 week post-op appointment. My Doc said my uterus had already shrunk a significant amount. He wanted to check my beta HcG levels every week until they drop below a 5. Once they are below a five he said to count 30 days layer and that's when we can actively start TTC, until then we have to use condoms.

My first blood work about 3 weeks after D&C was at 100. AT 4 weeks they were at 30. I got back this week so hopefully they are already below a 5.

I still haven't gotten my period and honestly I am a little worried about it. I guess a positive thing from all this is the fact that since I was pregnant I haven't had a period for over 3 months. That's a lil over 3 months with NO endometriosis pain!! I think i have actually started to forget the all about the pain until I remind myself I should be getting my period soon. I am believing, through the power of Jesus, that at least one of my prayers were answered. Healing me from endometriois!

I'll keep ya'll informed.



Friday, April 29, 2011

The Royal Wedding Homily by Dr. Richard Chartres, Anglican Bishop of London


I hadn’t planned on watching the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton live, but I’m so very glad I did.

I wanted to share the words of Bishop Chartres’ absolutely marvelous homily from this morning’s wedding at Westminster Abbey.

It is, quite simply, the best wedding homily I’ve ever heard and among the very best homilies I’ve had the pleasure to hear on any occasion.

Here is what the bishop said to William and Kate after they exchanged their vows and her brother James gave a beautiful reading from the Book of Romans:

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.





Saturday, March 12, 2011

Not ectopic!



I am so happy! Went in Thursday for my sonogram and they confirmed that is was NOT an ectopic pregnancy! YES! First hurdle successfully jumped! I really believe God has a HUGE plan for this little guy. I don't think we would have gone this far if he hadn't.

My doctor said he could faintly see the line that is the fetal pole starting to emerge so I am set to come back in in 2 weeks and by then we will be able to see so much more.

Think about it guys: I was supposedly infertile! Doctors told us I would never be able to naturally conceive and that we should start looking into IVF! But J and I held steadfast because we knew that when God has a plan there is nothing that can stop it! We are so happy right now. :) Over and over, everyday, I declare out loud that this little baby has Jesus stamped on his heart!

THIS IS A MIRACLE!




Monday, March 7, 2011

5 Weeks Pregnant: Possiblity for Ectopic?



If your anything like me I am very curious as to how things work. Probably because of my science background and ALL the many health issues I have had I am extremely interested in the way the human body works especially my own. So I find it extremely interesting to konw that this is what my baby look like right now:

Ok so it looks a bit like an alien but a cute baby alien! :)

BUT we're still not in the clear for an ectopic pregnancy. Tubal pregnancies can occur between 4 to 10 weeks but usually happen (cause pain enough to need attention) between weeks 4 to 6. I don't feel anything out of the ordinary so hopefully at our 6week sonagram next Monday they will see the baby happliy implanted in my uterus here the heart beat and all will be perfect... and I can stop worrying!

Love this website that described what to expect during every week.

Pregnancy Week 5

How Big is the Baby at Five Weeks Pregnant?
Pregnancy week 5 isn't much different from pregnancy week 4. During 5 weeks pregnant, your baby is still just over a millimeter long. You might say that your baby is about the size of a small grain of rice! However your baby is growing in many other ways. Vital organs continue to develop through this week.

Your Baby's Growth and Development
During the early part of this pregnancy at 5 weeks the central nervous system, muscles, bones and even the heart will begin to form. Early skeletal development is also possible at or around pregnancy week 5. Remember that every person is unique, thus their baby will develop at a different rate than others.

Perhaps the most interesting changes that are occurring during 5 weeks pregnant include those happening in the heart. During this week, the heart will begin to divide into separate chambers and start pumping blood. The heart is formed from the middle layer of cells, called the mesoderm. Other organs that will develop from this layer include the muscles, cartilage, and bone.

During pregnancy week 5, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord are also developing. The neural tube will start developing from a top layer of cells called the ectoderm. The baby's skin, hair, nails and sweat glands will also develop out of this layer.

A third layer of cells, called the endoderm, is also developing this week. The lungs, intestines, thyroid and pancreas also develop from this layer.

Your Growth and Development
You will still be pretty small during pregnancy at 5 weeks. An onlooker will not be able to detect that you are pregnant for several more weeks. Some women, particularly moms who have given birth before, have reported that they notice more bloating in their abdomen during this week. Because this is also a common menstrual symptom, many women assume that their periods are simply late and that they are bloated because of it!

Early Pregnancy Complications
Sometimes things go wrong with a pregnancy. Occasionally, a woman will experience an ectopic pregnancy. This happens when the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus, usually in the fallopian tube. There is an even smaller chance that the egg will implant around the ovary or cervix, though this is very rare. Ectopic pregnancies generally occur in 1 out of every 100 pregnancies. Your risk might be increased if you have a history of pelvic inflammatory disease or some other infection that might have damaged your fallopian tube. Women who have had a previous ectopic pregnancy are more likely to experience a recurrence than those who have not.

The primary signs of an ectopic pregnancy include: vaginal bleeding, abdominal pain, and nausea. Some of these symptoms, however, mimic ordinary pregnancy symptoms, so ectopic pregnancies are sometimes difficult to diagnose. The best way to diagnose an ectopic pregnancy is to measure the levels of human chorionic gonadotropin or HCG in the blood. This is a hormone produced during pregnancy that generally doubles approximately every 2 days. When HCG levels do not increase, an ectopic pregnancy might be suspected. Ultrasound can also help diagnose an ectopic pregnancy.

If you are diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy, your physician may require you undergo surgical treatment. Your doctor will want to perform surgery before any damage is done to your tube, which can affect your fertility in the future.

Other complications may include a blighted ovum or a molar pregnancy. A blighted ovum occurs when the fertilized egg implants but the embryo stops developing or isn't developing at all. It typically results in a miscarriage.

A molar pregnancy occurs when the fertilized egg is abnormal from the time of conception. Usually the egg will not develop into an embryo or it will develop abnormally so that it can't survive. Molar pregnancies occur in about one out of every 1,000 pregnancies. A molar pregnancy will usually require a surgical procedure to remove the abnormal tissue.

Most women who experience pregnancy complications can go on to have normal pregnancies in the future. While it is difficult not to worry about potential complications, it is important that you adopt a healthy attitude. The more you relax and enjoy the changes in your body, the more likely things will go well for you. If you do notice any abnormal symptoms, including continuous bleeding after a positive pregnancy test, be sure to contact your healthcare provider immediately.

Changes in You
You may or may not start realizing some changes at 5 weeks pregnant. Some women will start feeling nauseous at or around the fifth or sixth week of pregnancy. Some women will also start noticing other early signs of pregnancy such as a need to urinate more frequently, or tingling and soreness in the breasts.

Morning sickness may start by pregnancy week 5 but probably won't set in for a few more weeks. Morning sickness is actually a misnomer. The nausea that is associated with pregnancy can come at any time of the day, morning or night.

Some women are plagued with morning sickness during their entire pregnancies, though most morning sickness gets better after the first trimester. The good news is there are many things you can do to help alleviate morning sickness as you follow your pregnancy week by week. Try keeping some crackers and seltzer water close by the bed and snack on some before you get up in the morning. Morning sickness is often worse on an empty stomach. Other women find sipping some ginger tea or lemon water helps relieve nausea. Another remedy is supplementation with extra B-6.

Before you try any remedies for morning sickness or any other pregnancy symptom, be sure you consult with your healthcare provider. There are many herbs that can be dangerous to you or your developing baby when pregnant. When in doubt always err on the side of safety.

The most common early pregnancy symptom at five weeks pregnant is a sense of fatigue. Fatigue is common throughout pregnancy, but is usually the most severe during the early weeks of pregnancy. If you are experiencing excessive fatigue, try to rest as much as possible throughout the day. Do not have an extra cup of coffee to "perk up" as too much caffeine can affect your developing fetus. One great way to take advantage of a natural pick me up is to exercise. If you have the chance to get outdoors and inhale some fresh air, go for an extra walk around the block.

Maternity Clothes
Maternity Dresses for the Fashion Conscious Mother

Most expectant mothers prefer maternity dresses over all other types of maternity wear. Why? Maternity dresses are the ultimate in comfortable maternity clothing. They expand, breathe, flow and gently caress the body rather than cling, pinch and squeeze. Who doesn’t want to feel comfortable when pregnant?

Whether you are looking for something formal for a special event or something more casual to wear day-to-day, you can count on a variety of elegant and feminine styles from today’s leading retailers.

The very best retailers for maternity dresses are found at Destination Maternity. Most women fall in love with their maternity dresses so much that they have a hard time not wearing them even after pregnancy!

Pregnancy Health Tips
Many women decide to keep their pregnancies private until after the 12th week. This is because the chance of miscarriage is greatest during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. it is up to you and your partner whether or not you decide to share the news about your pregnancy, but many women find great relief in sharing their joyous news with friends and family members. That way if something does go wrong, they will also have the support of their loved ones.

There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to revealing your pregnancy. When you do decide to share the news, do so with pomp and circumstance. Most women will only be pregnant once or a few times in their lifetime. It is always fun to share the news in a memorable way. You might decide for example to purchase a new baby outfit or two to surprise your partner or loved ones with. Some women wait until their first prenatal visit, where they will often get to take home the first picture of their baby via a trans-vaginal ultrasound. Do what is right for you, but enjoy the process when you do! Having a baby should be a memorable and joyous occasion for everyone!